The Mallow Shield

The local silver band in Mallow, for reasons best known to themselves, presented Thelwall Morris Men with a trophy - “for services to culture”. The trophy was a foot high plinth bearing the figure of a footballer in action.

In order to put the trophy to good use, an “annual” competition took place, usually at Norton Priory on May Day, whereby the “Northern Bums” played the “Brummies and the Southern Poofters” at football - the Birmingham members not wishing to be associated with the “Southern Poofters”. The division is made amongst those players available on the day based on birth place.

The trophy has since broken - the footballer parted company with his stand and became the man of the match award. So, in true “Irish” fashion, the Mallow Shield is not one award but two - neither of which is a shield!

Sadly, because of the ageing nature of the Thelwall side, the 1998 Mallow Shield was contested for by a series of indoor games - dominoes, tiddly-winks and shove-ha’penny.

Pen-profiles of past and present players

Chris Maple
Plays in goal for the Southerners.
Answers to “Dracula” (scared of crosses) or “Cinderella” (late for the ball).

Rob Pracy
Volunteered to act as coach - had his teeth taken out and a row of seats fitted.

The only person to be expelled by Weight Watchers.
When we danced at Blackpool he was towed off the beach because the tide wanted to come in.

Ernie Walley
He has slightly less ability than his dog.
Makes Paddy Crerand look like Seb Coe.

Pete Jackson
Has a tendency to kick anything above grass level.
His motto is “If it moves kick it, if it doesn’t move, kick it 'til it does”.

Dave Cotton
Quicker to climb over him than run round.
A good solid defender who can also be used to roll the pitch.

Handicapped by playing in shoes that looked like surf boards. This tends to dictate his style of play.

Gordon Gilmore
Had trials at Liverpool and Chester. Found guilty both times.
Plays exceptionally well for a pensioner.

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WWW pages managed by Andrew White.
Last updated 23 February 2000